Comments for Random Thoughts of an Unconventional Mind http://randomthoughtz.wordpress.com Not just another weblog! Mon, 29 Jun 2009 17:46:04 +0000 http://wordpress.com/ hourly 1 Comment on First Night! by Ask me http://randomthoughtz.wordpress.com/2006/05/30/first-night/#comment-13 Ask me Mon, 29 Jun 2009 17:46:04 +0000 https://randomthoughtz.wordpress.com/2006/05/30/first-night/#comment-13 Shujath, have you ever actually KNOWN a woman on that level? OMG, you're nuts. Women are sexual creatures, too, but we are very different. Men are turned on visually (because God made Eve second - with Adam in mind), but women's sexuality is SOOOOO different. To us, it involves our heart, and we don't just want to jump some stranger's bones (contrary to what you hear in pop culture). As intimacy develops, so do our sexual feelings. Those feelings need be brought out in women. They are not on the forefront of our minds like they are in men. Western culture does alot to bring the feelings out too young in girls/women with all that's on TV. But in Eastern culture, many women haven't had those feelings aroused and triggered to such a level they will want come into marriage hot and sweaty. It's the man's job to woo them. Shujath, have you ever actually KNOWN a woman on that level? OMG, you’re nuts.

Women are sexual creatures, too, but we are very different. Men are turned on visually (because God made Eve second – with Adam in mind), but women’s sexuality is SOOOOO different. To us, it involves our heart, and we don’t just want to jump some stranger’s bones (contrary to what you hear in pop culture).

As intimacy develops, so do our sexual feelings. Those feelings need be brought out in women. They are not on the forefront of our minds like they are in men. Western culture does alot to bring the feelings out too young in girls/women with all that’s on TV. But in Eastern culture, many women haven’t had those feelings aroused and triggered to such a level they will want come into marriage hot and sweaty. It’s the man’s job to woo them.

]]> Comment on First Night! by Ask me http://randomthoughtz.wordpress.com/2006/05/30/first-night/#comment-12 Ask me Mon, 29 Jun 2009 17:40:18 +0000 https://randomthoughtz.wordpress.com/2006/05/30/first-night/#comment-12 Hey, I looked this subject up because nobody I know with an arranged marraige will talk about it! My marraige was not arranged, and we had been dating for ... ever (like 6 years), AND we were both virgins on our wedding night (Yes, it does happen in America. We are Christians.). Of course, we'd both been eager after dating so long, but I was so stressed out from the wedding I wasn't in the mood. He was though! And I enjoyed it, but part of me wished I'd waited until the second night when my nerves were more calm. One of my aunts had the audacity to ask me "quietly" the next day- AT A PARTY WITH MY FAMILY AND IN-LAWS! - "So, how did it go last night?" I'm sure other people heard, including my poor husband sitting next to me. I guess that's not that bad since. We do live in a VERY - overly - sexualised society, and I am used to all kinds of behaviour. I feel bad for those poor Indian/Pakistani/Iranian/etc. girls who live in a more innocent society. The sudden transition and teasing must be very difficult.... Almost as difficult as the in-laws in the other room... Agh! I'm only putting my email (I kinda want annonymity, but...) because I'd like to hear from you if you can share your experience with me. Or if you're getting married, I'd love to hear how you feel about it. Hey, I looked this subject up because nobody I know with an arranged marraige will talk about it!

My marraige was not arranged, and we had been dating for … ever (like 6 years), AND we were both virgins on our wedding night (Yes, it does happen in America. We are Christians.). Of course, we’d both been eager after dating so long, but I was so stressed out from the wedding I wasn’t in the mood. He was though! And I enjoyed it, but part of me wished I’d waited until the second night when my nerves were more calm.

One of my aunts had the audacity to ask me “quietly” the next day- AT A PARTY WITH MY FAMILY AND IN-LAWS! – “So, how did it go last night?” I’m sure other people heard, including my poor husband sitting next to me.

I guess that’s not that bad since. We do live in a VERY – overly – sexualised society, and I am used to all kinds of behaviour. I feel bad for those poor Indian/Pakistani/Iranian/etc. girls who live in a more innocent society. The sudden transition and teasing must be very difficult…. Almost as difficult as the in-laws in the other room… Agh!

I’m only putting my email (I kinda want annonymity, but…) because I’d like to hear from you if you can share your experience with me. Or if you’re getting married, I’d love to hear how you feel about it.

]]> Comment on First Night! by sujana http://randomthoughtz.wordpress.com/2006/05/30/first-night/#comment-10 sujana Wed, 04 Feb 2009 21:25:08 +0000 https://randomthoughtz.wordpress.com/2006/05/30/first-night/#comment-10 Oh god, I'm getting marriage next week and i'm so nervous wht should i do when he (My future husband) will come infornt of me........? Oh god, I’m getting marriage next week and i’m so nervous wht should i do when he (My future husband) will come infornt of me……..?

]]> Comment on First Night! by Shujath http://randomthoughtz.wordpress.com/2006/05/30/first-night/#comment-4 Shujath Wed, 31 May 2006 05:09:01 +0000 https://randomthoughtz.wordpress.com/2006/05/30/first-night/#comment-4 Actually, I haven't updated my blog since quite some time because I am dead busy and possibly facing a potential layoff in a couple of months :).....in fact I hadn't checked my mail since 3 weeks...but the content of this post was too compelling not to reply Well....am one of those people with who you discussed this stuff in undergrad; though I am not sure if I agreed with you or not. But today I don't agree with your so called "dilemma" (in theory) in not consummating your marriage on your first night. Coming to the point of arranged marriages, the meaning of arranged marriage has changed drastically. It's not that you had one glimpse of her and the next time you saw her it was on your bed with a glass of milk in her hand. Today, there is lot of communication happening between the bride and the groom from the time they first see each other and the time they actually get married. So, the screwing a stranger concept doesn't look valid to me. But if you look at it practically....the first night both of you will be so tired after the marriage function that you might not have the energy in the first place (maybe that's why the food/milk is for) to do it. But...medically speaking among the different types of energies we have like physical, mental etc...sexual energy is the strongest of them all...BTW I don't kinda agree to what "Main Hoon Na" said that men are more eager to do it then women....because I remember reading quite some time back (though I cannot corroborrate the source) that women enjoy the act of sex as much or even more than men do :) So don't worry, go and ROCK your first night!!!! Actually, I haven’t updated my blog since quite some time because I am dead busy and possibly facing a potential layoff in a couple of months :) …..in fact I hadn’t checked my mail since 3 weeks…but the content of this post was too compelling not to reply
Well….am one of those people with who you discussed this stuff in undergrad; though I am not sure if I agreed with you or not. But today I don’t agree with your so called “dilemma” (in theory) in not consummating your marriage on your first night.
Coming to the point of arranged marriages, the meaning of arranged marriage has changed drastically. It’s not that you had one glimpse of her and the next time you saw her it was on your bed with a glass of milk in her hand. Today, there is lot of communication happening between the bride and the groom from the time they first see each other and the time they actually get married. So, the screwing a stranger concept doesn’t look valid to me.
But if you look at it practically….the first night both of you will be so tired after the marriage function that you might not have the energy in the first place (maybe that’s why the food/milk is for) to do it. But…medically speaking among the different types of energies we have like physical, mental etc…sexual energy is the strongest of them all…BTW I don’t kinda agree to what “Main Hoon Na” said that men are more eager to do it then women….because I remember reading quite some time back (though I cannot corroborrate the source) that women enjoy the act of sex as much or even more than men do :)
So don’t worry, go and ROCK your first night!!!!

]]> Comment on First Night! by Arun http://randomthoughtz.wordpress.com/2006/05/30/first-night/#comment-3 Arun Wed, 31 May 2006 01:14:47 +0000 https://randomthoughtz.wordpress.com/2006/05/30/first-night/#comment-3 Good job and as expected an 'out of the ordinary' topic !! I too thought about it few years ago and as pointed out by 'itsforyoutoguess' I realized that one would be too tired and/or too much of a stranger to get to the 'spicy' part of the night. And be rest assured that the girls of the current times, especially the ones that are in the subset of marrying you, will have no qualms in expressing their desire. Good job and as expected an ‘out of the ordinary’ topic !! I too thought about it few years ago and as pointed out by ‘itsforyoutoguess’ I realized that one would be too tired and/or too much of a stranger to get to the ’spicy’ part of the night. And be rest assured that the girls of the current times, especially the ones that are in the subset of marrying you, will have no qualms in expressing their desire.

]]> Comment on First Night! by Tweety http://randomthoughtz.wordpress.com/2006/05/30/first-night/#comment-2 Tweety Tue, 30 May 2006 18:00:05 +0000 https://randomthoughtz.wordpress.com/2006/05/30/first-night/#comment-2 Hurraaaaaay.........so you are also a blogger from now on.... so friends...we now have a 'SPICY' blog.... You work best in night, so I feel 'First Night' is the most apt topic for you to start with ;) Great get going... I do agree to your views on the 'first night' scenes in the movies. I too did give this a thought. It is hard, to get so comfortable with the partner in such a short period. The older generations also did have people like you who would prefer to have some spicy food, some chicken or fish. And they very well knew that guys if given a choice, would hang chickens all over the ceiling (oops... please do not send this idea to Raghavendra Rao..he might even try it ...). To avoid all this, I think they started these flowers and fruits and the rest followed thinking it is some kind of custom and no one wanted to screw up their 'first night' by breaking the rules. By the way, I heard flowers are placed to kind of create a romantic atmosphere and fruits and milk to give you more and more energy for all the 'hard work' that is ahead..;) Do not worry, we will provide you with Boost and Bournvita to give you the extra boost necessary....(We know you do not need it though...) And also, a small suggestion...if you do not want to be like many desis....try gaining some experience before..'Experience always counts' ..All the very best... Tweety Hurraaaaaay………so you are also a blogger from now on….
so friends…we now have a 'SPICY' blog….

You work best in night, so I feel 'First Night' is the most apt topic for you to start with ;)

Great get going…

I do agree to your views on the 'first night' scenes in the movies. I too did give this a thought. It is hard, to get so comfortable with the partner in such a short period.
The older generations also did have people like you who would prefer to have some spicy food, some chicken or fish. And they very well knew that guys if given a choice, would hang chickens all over the ceiling (oops… please do not send this idea to Raghavendra Rao..he might even try it …). To avoid all this, I think they started these flowers and fruits and the rest followed thinking it is some kind of custom and no one wanted to screw up their 'first night' by breaking the rules.
By the way, I heard flowers are placed to kind of create a romantic atmosphere and fruits and milk to give you more and more energy for all the 'hard work' that is ahead..;)

Do not worry, we will provide you with Boost and Bournvita to give you the extra boost necessary….(We know you do not need it though…)

And also, a small suggestion…if you do not want to be like many desis….try gaining some experience before..'Experience always counts' ..All the very best…

Tweety

]]> Comment on First Night! by itsforyoutoguess http://randomthoughtz.wordpress.com/2006/05/30/first-night/#comment-1 itsforyoutoguess Tue, 30 May 2006 13:52:40 +0000 https://randomthoughtz.wordpress.com/2006/05/30/first-night/#comment-1 Would have to say that it is a bold, big and controversial topic to be the first post. Hey its your blog not mine :-) I'm sure that no girl expects something that day. After all we have lived as a bachelor longer than them, and men are known to have more desire than the women so I would have to say that it shud be the men eager not the women. More over, WAKE UP we are mature enough to know that nothing would be happening on the first night .. Imagine that you are awake the whole day on you marriage with some vratam and ....... taking care of marriage arrangements friends relatives.... and you would be trying to look your best and carry yourself best those days its quite tiring mentally and physically. Forget about anything being done that night except getting a good night's sleep. I would say an ideal scenario for anything may be a little chat comforting her by telling her what kind of nonsense she should expect in future and that of course you don't need Samaram (I am sure you'll have a tough time making this conversation with her). All i can say is "SABHAR KA PHAL MEETHA HOTA HAI" I don't quite encourage such topics to be discussed. There is a lot more fun in trying to figure out these things yourself. What is the fun in writing an exam that you already know the answers for? Like i said its your blog not mine. Main Hoon Na Would have to say that it is a bold, big and controversial topic to be the first post. Hey its your blog not mine :-)
I'm sure that no girl expects something that day. After all we have lived as a bachelor longer than them, and men are known to have more desire than the women so I would have to say that it shud be the men eager not the women. More over,
WAKE UP we are mature enough to know that nothing would be happening on the first night ..
Imagine that you are awake the whole day on you marriage with some vratam and ……. taking care of marriage arrangements friends relatives…. and you would be trying to look your best and carry yourself best those days its quite tiring mentally and physically.
Forget about anything being done that night except getting a good night's sleep. I would say an ideal scenario for anything may be a little chat comforting her by telling her what kind of nonsense she should expect in future and that of course you don't need Samaram (I am sure you'll have a tough time making this conversation with her).
All i can say is
"SABHAR KA PHAL MEETHA HOTA HAI"
I don't quite encourage such topics to be discussed. There is a lot more fun in trying to figure out these things yourself. What is the fun in writing an exam that you already know the answers for?
Like i said its your blog not mine.
Main Hoon Na

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